Sunday, April 20, 2008

Abortion Admission

OK –now that I’ve got your attention, I didn’t really go through with an abortion. But, for a fleeting (ok, more like a LONG) thought, I actually considered that I needed to get rid of the “problem” I knew I would be facing with another pregnancy.

It was 1985. (I know…you were 6 or not even born.) We had just built our house in the country: 3 bedrooms, 3 desks in the schoolroom, 3 kids-2 girls and a boy. (Erin was 7, Andrew was 4 and Ali was 1.) We were complete. I was satisfied with life.

I even remember having a conversation with a friend in California telling her that for the first time in my life, I felt really settled, complete, fulfilled.

And then, my period didn’t begin (sorry guys…) For me, that meant only one thing. I knew I was pregnant! Oh my! That didn’t fit my plans. We didn’t have enough desks! We didn’t need more kids. I didn’t want to be pregnant again!

For that moment, I thought, “I’ve got to do something about this. I’ve got to get rid of this.” It was a thought that came, and I knew in an instant, if I took control of that situation, it would make everything right again. It would put my life back into place, instead of the rocking, jarring thoughts that were slamming me. I wasn’t even thinking that there was a life growing inside me.

And just as quickly, I repented those thoughts, and knew I would never follow through with killing my own child.

But, what that quick experience taught me is compassion for those that do choose to abort their babies. If a young, single, scared girl or woman doesn’t have an understanding, Truth and love represented in her world, I can see how a she might choose to take things into her own hands. Chart the course of her future.

That experience changed me. It not only taught me compassion, but it set the stage for agreeing that my life was much better controlled by the One who knows what is best for me.

The baby was Anna Joy. The first of four more blessings that God added to the three we already had. I would have never chosen that life for myself!

I sure am glad I let Him lead.

21 comments:

Theresa said...

Thank you for sharing. It can be such a hard decision when we are in trying to fix things ourselves. You know I know. :) I am glad that you let Him lead you where you went because I sure enjoy Anna's Blog.

SideNote--Did Jon make it home finally?

Robin Meadows said...

Thanks, Theresa. It's so hard for me to even imagine life without these 4 other children....now on any given day (in the past)...LOL! And yes, I know YOU know!

Yes! Jon is in North Carolina undergoing medical testing, etc. He is scheduled to fly in on Friday! Thanks for your thoughts!

deleise said...

Oh how I love your honesty and compassion. Love it. Who knows who you may touch and change with this post.

Aaron said...

good call!
Look how she is being used!

Christie said...

You know I had the same exprierence after my third...and then the same feelings when pregnancy #4 came later named Avery Joy!!! (Too funny the similarities in names!) We chose Joy for her middle name because through her life the Lord taught us to have JOY in spite of our circumstances!!! Love you...thank you for being so transparent!

jimmy paravane said...

Abortion is one of those sins that people love to judge with such satisfaction. Another is unwanted pregnancy. The sinner did it. There is no way the sinner can take back the act of fornication that created the unwanted life, or the murder of that life they committed.
Have you ever wondered how many women/girls are walking around with this hidden part of their past for fear of judgment by the rest of the flock? Or how many women/girls are facing the choice of having an abortion and hiding it from the family and friends to escape either the judgment of the pregnancy or the abortion? Sometimes I think you aliens underestimate the power of the principality of fear. Even among your own.

Abbi said...

At first, I thought this was the story about Kody. For not wanting to be pregnant 'again', you sure got pregnant a lot! LOL.

And just think of all the lives that have been touched and restored for the Kingdom thanks to Anna!!! Wow!

Robin Meadows said...

Thanks for your comments.

Christie--lots of JOY in your life!

Jimmy---lots more than dealing with judgement going on in a woman's heart when faced with an unplanned pregnancy.

Chad said...

What you said about "those who don't have an understanding..." - A good reminder that we shouldn't be too quick to just heap judgement on people but to love them and invite them to the understanding.
Your "tons-o-kids" family is a blessing to many.

Natalie Witcher said...

I'm so glad you didn't listen to the enemy!

Anonymous said...

I was a young mother carrying a child that was also to have a young father. Admittingly, neither one of us was ready at that moment to be a parent, but we both felt as though we had to "get" ready. The hardest thing we had to do was tell our parents. Working up the nerve to tell them we were going to have a kid when we were just kids ourselves. Imagine the pain instilled in our hearts when one side of parents is so against us. The family that always preached into our lives, the strong christian family suggested that we not have the baby, abortion, adoption, anything so long as we didn't smear the family reputation. These people were so "ashamed" of us that they wouldn't tell people they were going to have a grandchild. In fact, they didn't even tell the rest of their family until 2 months before the baby was born.
I will admit that it wasn't the best situation ever. Sure we should have been older, we should have been married.. we should have been a lot of things, but the reality was we were young, we were not yet married and we were parents to the most amazing little child ever. Sure now this family loves this blessing as much as I do, and in my heart I know it has opened their eyes to the bigger wonders of God. The way he can take an unlikely circumstance and make something so big and so wonderful come from it! I know she came into our lives at that moment for a reason! She is one of the most amazing kids I have ever been around, she is so talented and loves so completely.

Sometimes I think "christians" can get so wrapped up in being christian that the don't tottaly see Gods plan!

I do have to say though I think that through the years things have changed now and these people are not the same as they were then! Maybe a lil more open to what God has in store and the unconvential ways that he does them!

Roger Garrett said...

Every teenage girl should have to read this. Great post

Brittney Pirtle said...

Awe mom, your so sweet! I'm glad you decided to keep my annaboo too! And have kody, Jacob, and katie! They are so much fun, gotta love em! And just think, if there wasnt an anna, there'd be no me :)

Theresa said...

Robin...
I so want to give Anonymous a big hug. She has an inspiring story. So if you ever find out who she is....Please hug for me!!

Anna Meadows said...

Thank you for keeping me. ;)

Sometimes I wonder if this is the reason I love life so much. I can't imagine not being here...

I agree with everyone else... this is a good blog, honest and transparent... Good job, Mom! ;)

Natalie Witcher said...

hey, i tagged you. come to my blog tomorrow

drama momma said...

That surprises me that you would have had that thought...I mean being the "mother of the year." :)

I'm sure we all have times that we have followed God's plan and did not do what we thought we ought to do or wanted to do. I sure can think of a few and very thankful that I didn't go with my plan.

Missed y'all Saturday night too. I was at the OKC campus.

erin said...

Mom, thanks for sharing this and being open. You have helped me in life so much.

Chelsey said...

Robin,
What wisdom the Lord has granted you through this experience. It amazes me the things that he allows us to walk through in our own "flesh" to show us and teach us and draw us closer to Him - all for HIS glory! Thanks Robin.

Sheri said...

Best blog yet Robin! Awesome God!

mandy said...

1985? i was 7.

but i STILL think you're cool. especially for posting this. thank you for your honesty. really...