Friday, October 03, 2008

Eyes Wide Open---A Review



 Eyes Wide Open: Avoiding the Heartbreak of Emotional Promiscuity by Brienne Murk

This book talks about giving your heart away, too much, too soon, and ways to avoid that happening.

 I know, the title is a little dramatic. But, this is a book I highly recommend if:

 *you are a parent of kids around age 10 and above

*you work with kids that age

*you lost your heart at an early age and want to know how you may have avoided the emotional pain you experienced

I purchased three books.  I have my boys (14 & 16) reading it right along with me, and we discuss what we have read. (well, I  talk, they listen....kinda) :)

My boys roll their eyes, and think it is "stupid and unnecessary". They don't see the value in learning how to guard their hearts.   But, I do (and I get to choose the subjects we learn....so....).  I think it is extremely necessary, and I know they are learning some important truths, whether they want to admit it, or not.  I've heard them talk about the futility of the boy/girl relationships of some of their young friends. 

Here are a few tid-bits from the book:

  •  When we don't guard our hearts, it can be difficult to know where to draw the line on an emotional connection.

  • We can become entangled in emotions when we follow our hearts instead of our heads.

  • I have the choice to live according to what is true or according to how I feel.

  • Building a relationship on feelings-no matter how exciting they are- is a recipe for disaster.

  • Whoever controls your emotions controls you.

  • There is no such thing as "casual dating".


We've even been discussing how dating casually is like practicing for divorce and how easy it is for girls, particularly,  to become emotionally connected to guys. 

I don't totally accept and agree with all the premises and thoughts in this book, but overall, the message is full of the truth that if you're not aware of how easy it is to lose your heart too soon, it may just happen to you.

 As in everything we teach them, I don't really know the choices they'll make.  I don't know if they'll choose to guard their heart, or  if they'll wait to date until they believe the relationship will be for a life-time.  But, Dirk and I do want them to be equipped with the truth and we pray they'll choose what's best. 

For now, we'll press on and continue to read and discuss. (well, I'll talk...) :)

 What do you think about dating? 

Did you ever suffer emotional pain from giving your heart away too soon?



 

Robin

11 comments:

Theresa said...

Hope has been eyerolling at me too!!!

But then she says something that proves she is listening. I have a friend that has asked to borrow it when we are finished. I have also showed the book to our Jr. high pastor. He is interested and went and got the book. So you have a far reaching influence.

:)

Rachel Rowell said...

absolutely. more than once.

Full of Joy said...

Yes, more than I care to recount

Would this be a good explanation for older singles? I have friends who say, 'but HOW do I guard my heart?'

donna said...

Yes! It really hurts giving your heart away too soon. A literal "heart ache". And then there is the baggage. Not fun! I have mixed feelings on dating. As for my children, according to my husband they are never going to date because Jesus is coming back before then. :) Somebody is in denial!

Robin Meadows said...

Tiffany...Yes! This would explain a lot to an older single.

Hope said...

Oh if I could only get one point across to girls about relationships... I know this has been the source of tons of pain in my own life. I may have to check this one out!

Full of Joy said...

Thanks Robin!

Dusty Takle said...

Dating? What's that? I was never allowed to date. At 17, I could go out "in groups". But, I rebelled. At 16. Fell in love. Gave my heart away. Married 7 years later. Divorced 5 years after that.

I'm not sure what I will do with Anna. My parents and mentors always argued the courtship vs. dating thing. I know that it caused a lot of grief and frustration for me as a teen. But then again, I was a virgin when I married.

I just don't know.

Abbi said...

I think my generation sees dating sort of like test-driving a car...an evaluation with no-strings-attached. Even if you like what you've got, you can always trade it in for a newer (better) model. Just like divorce.

I was always frustrated with dating because I let the Enemy convince me that since no one was asking me out, I must be completely undesirable.

Now I see that God didn't want me to have any more emotional baggage than I already had (from being the poster child of unrequited love), but instead wanted me to wait for my husband. And BOY was the wait worth it!! ;)

I believe NOT dating is the best choice, assuming (like Dirk's previous post) that a child's parents make sure all their needs (acceptance, affection, love, encouragement, understanding) are met at home. Otherwise, teens/singles seek those things in another person and rarely find what they are looking for.

Roxanne Kristina said...

This is a very important topic at our home. Pre drivers, pre high school... lots going on with our twin teen boys. Thanks for the valuable info. Helped. I found you via Theresa. I really like your site.

Blessings,
Roxanne

deleise said...

We are starting it next week, I've been behind. I'm looking forward to it, and I am glad to know how your boys are responding so I don't feel disheartened when mine do the same! :) I am so with you on just wanting them to be equipped.