Friday Finds

This series of posts on training our children has been fun. I encourage you to take the time to read through the comments from the last two weeks....there's a wealth of information in them!

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My s-i-l, Alexander is writing about his and Katie's travels in Jerusalem. Very interesting information. Check it out! Soon he'll be telling about Galilee, Jordan, and Egypt!
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Yesterday, May 29, was Erin and Jon's 10th wedding anniversary! Wow! Ten years goes fast! Jacob was 3 years old at that wedding! He was supposed to carry the ring with Kody, 5, then go sit with my sister. He didn't. He got to the front of the aisle, saw me, and then sat on my lap the entire wedding asking loudly, "Can we go to Taco Bell?"

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We're keeping Kaden and Will overnight. Here's why 50 year olds shouldn't have small children of their own....we forget to keep an eye on them!

Dirk and I were talking at the table toward the end of dinner. Everyone else had left the kitchen, but Will, who was still sitting at the bar. The bowl in front of him had been full of corn-on-the-cob. He helped himself to 3 more pieces, munched on each one, and decorated one of them with corn holders. ; ) He sure is cute!

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What's your weekend hold? Our boys have a micro-mission all day Saturday, we have a wedding on Saturday night, and Lifestock (Lifechurch at a local theme park for an all day party and baptism bash!) on Sunday.

Choices and Consequences

The loss of privileges and reaping consequences is usually an effective method of training. After all, life is a series of choices, and those choices come with blessings or consequences.

Effective consequences are those that make a child re-evaluate their behavioral choices. It’s got to hit their passions hard enough that they decide making a good choice is a much better alternative. When we choose consequences for our child’s wrong choices, we need to make sure the consequence matches the offense and is of a reasonable time-frame.

Just today I grounded one of my boys from his X-box. He was playing it when I discovered his closet was a disaster. He knows we (should) choose taking care of our responsibilities before we do anything for entertainment. He has lost the privilege for a week.

We’ve had quite a variety of consequences with raising seven kiddos.

I remember one time telling Erin her loss would be reading. Yep. It was her passion. She was the child who would answer a doorbell, her eyes never leaving the page she was reading.

Our children have had to miss youth church on Wednesday nights. They’ve missed birthday parties for friends. They’ve missed dance lessons, guitar lessons and drum lessons. They’ve had their instruments taken away.

They’ve gotten extra chore duty for not doing the job the right way, or for whining and complaining.

Yeah, we’re mean parents. We want our kids to get the message that obedience and good attitude is more important than the things they love most.

What are some effective consequences or loss of privileges you’ve used in your home or even remember as a kid?

Who's the Boss?

You have Miss Bossypants at your house? Or Mr. Know-it-All? Listen to his bossiness carefully. You have an opportunity to learn about your child’s spiritual giftings!

You may discover responsibility, administration, prophecy, discernment, leadership, or exhortation. The list could go on. And, right now those very giftings are immature and untrained. They may be showing themselves as manipulation, controlling, pushiness, anger, or judgementalism.

So, how do we help our children turn those weaknesses into strengths?

Here are a few things that might help:

Continually establish the authority roles in your home
Have your child listen to his tone of voice (sometimes, it’s not the words as much as the tone—true for us as well!)
Have him “practice” the word exchange again, the right way.
Continually encourage personal responsibility
Teach him about his giftings and using them correctly
Teach God’s Word, reading lots of scriptures about the tongue and the words of our mouth
Pray, pray and pray some more

Again, this is not something that will go away after a few reprimands. It will be an on-going process as long as you are responsible for your child’s training. Take heart! God has a mighty plan for that bossy little one. Ask me how I know! ; )

What ways do you deal with your bossy ones?

M-O-O-O-O-O-OM!

It starts with picking. It moves on to bickering. From there, with the right buttons pushed, mom has been brought in on the scene.

If you have more than one child, you recognize this as…..dun---ta-dun-dun…. sibling rivalry. It’s the source of many hair-pulling days. Left unattended, it can become the ending to one of your child’s best lifetime friendships.

In our home, with so many children, this sort of behavior came often. One day, I decided to lighten the mood a bit, and try to teach something at the same time. After too many warnings, I tied Andrew and Erin together, wrist-to-wrist. I told them they would have to learn to cooperate together and when they were getting along and choosing to love one another, I would release their bonds. They were probably around 8 and 10.

At first, they would just sit down. But, soon, they would decide to try something together. Then, it became a game.

If you ask them, they’ll tell you they just pretended to cooperate and get along so I'd untie them. But, I knew when they had gotten past their bickering. Their smiles had returned.

I used this technique with several other sibling pairs. Sometimes, it was over quickly. Others, depending on their stubbornness level, took several hours.

Overcoming sibling rivalry takes work and more work, prayer and more prayer. It is only ended when each child has a change of heart and chooses to love. (hang in there) ; )

What are your techniques for dealing with sibling rivalry?

Tomorrow, we’ll deal with bossing other siblings.

What are some other parenting issues you’d like to see discussed here?

It Was a Blast!

CAMPING AT ROMAN NOSE....

There's nothing much better for

food, fun, family, fishing

mud, marshmallows, motorcycles

love, laughter, LIFE!

Who went: Dirk, Robin, Kody, Jacob, Erin, Jon, Kaden, Will, Andrew, Abbi, Anna, Cody, Brittney, Jessica and Lee.

Friday Finds

One of the most heart-warming stories I've ever read. Read it! You won't be disappointed.

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My youngest daughter, Katie just finished her first semester of nursing school with a 4.0!

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Katie and Alexander will be traveling for 8 weeks this summer. They left Canada today, heading to Chicago, and will leave Monday for Israel, Egypt, and Jordan. Follow their travels! Alexander loves history, so you're sure to learn a bit too.

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The ManyMeadowsPlus will be camping this weekend. There will be 15 of us! This time we're taking 3 brand new campers. I bet Abbi, Jessica and Brittney will have new stories to tell.

Have any special plans for the extended weekend?

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Since we've been talking about behavior this week, I couldn't resist sharing this picture I took at Easter. Sadie, our youngest granddaughter sitting in "time-out" for saying "Mo!" (no) to her mom, Ali. I'm afraid I wasn't much help on the discipline....she was just so cute!

Mouthy

Sassing. Talking-back. Back-talkin’. Mouthing off. We’ve done it, we’ve experienced it.

It’s a behavior that needs to be stopped quickly and it starts way earlier than you’d ever think! (My baby’s mouth just said, “No”? No way!)

It’s something you’ll begin with instructing your precious ones, “we don’t talk back to mommy”, and, as they grow, develops into instructions in respect, authority and the tongue.

When our children are young, they may need many reminders.

My friend, Amy has a suggestion. Being concerned about her daughter’s sassiness, and after much prayer and searching of scriptures, she and her husband came up with “Sassy Sauce” – apple cider vinegar in a spray bottle! A little unconventional, but it works for her.

“Madison is almost 5 and Jonathan is 2 (and very good at it). We started with one spray for saying "no" or "but", two sprays for any complaining or arguing. I try and give one warning but I don't threaten all day long. It's easier for me to spray it, talk to her about controlling her tongue, and then reap the benefits from the action the rest of the day.

She knows that if she doesn't take the vinegar then she gets a spanking and then STILL has to take the vinegar so she stands there and opens her mouth.

Our son is the same way. He stands there and just cries. Time outs are pretty effective with him so we typically only spray him when his little tongue is completely out of control.
When I look around I am so glad that I am working with them in this crucial area. For this is something that I have to work on in my own life at 28. So in essence WE as a family are working on not arguing and complaining TOGETHER.

Geez....guess I should give myself the sassy sauce sometimes: )”

The important thing is making sure you begin to see progress in your child’s response to you. Be sure your child understands your expectations, then figure out something that “works”.

What happens at your house when your child talks back or has a sassy mouth? Remember to list their ages.

We’ll come back to “What Works” on Tuesday of next week. Then, we’ll talk about sibling rivalry and picking on each other. Them, not us... ; )