I remember a time, maybe even more than one, when Dirk would come in from a hard day at work and find chaos was reigning and we were ALL sitting in the floor crying---even me! It had been a hard day for mom and I wouldn’t be doing too well emotionally. Identify?
Dirk would say, “Robin, you need to pull in the boundaries. You’re letting them get away with too much.” And he would be right. I was being lax in my role as a parent because 1) it was too hard and took too much time 2) I got distracted doing any number of necessary “other” things 3) I didn’t know WHAT to do. You get the idea and the list could go on and on.
But, the point is, I was the responsible one, the adult, the mom. The one in charge of setting the atmosphere for our day.
I began to learn that when things would get overwhelming, I needed to assess the situation and see if I could tighten the boundaries a bit. To capture the runaway noise, disobedience and attitudes before they got out of control. At first, it took longer to get everyone back to understanding what was and was not acceptable behavior, but soon, it took only minor adjustments to return us to a tolerable level of stability. And then there were still those days where Dirk would come in from a hard day at work and find chaos was reigning……
Would “tightening the boundaries” help your day?
Dirk would say, “Robin, you need to pull in the boundaries. You’re letting them get away with too much.” And he would be right. I was being lax in my role as a parent because 1) it was too hard and took too much time 2) I got distracted doing any number of necessary “other” things 3) I didn’t know WHAT to do. You get the idea and the list could go on and on.
But, the point is, I was the responsible one, the adult, the mom. The one in charge of setting the atmosphere for our day.
I began to learn that when things would get overwhelming, I needed to assess the situation and see if I could tighten the boundaries a bit. To capture the runaway noise, disobedience and attitudes before they got out of control. At first, it took longer to get everyone back to understanding what was and was not acceptable behavior, but soon, it took only minor adjustments to return us to a tolerable level of stability. And then there were still those days where Dirk would come in from a hard day at work and find chaos was reigning……
Would “tightening the boundaries” help your day?
YES! I find when I am distracted by other things...even if only my thoughts...that chaos can begin reigning and instead of focusing on getting everyone back on track I am just annoyed that what I am doing (even if it is only thinking) is interuppted. It helps so much for ME to stop and refocus and then get everyone else refocused. So much of this mommy business is about us setting the tone of our day and home. What a great responsibility...but also a great honor. I needed to hear this today! Thank you!
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