Dearest Husband

Anna also wrote letters to her future husband.  Since she loves to write, I wasn't surprised  that she had written several letters over the years.  She recently shared a book of letters with me.  The first one she saved is from 2003.  She was 15.  Several  more were written in her book through 2005. 

The first thing I noted was the heading.  Anna wrote her letters to "Dearest Husband".  Being the passionate, romantic she was (and is, still), her many letters were full of hopes of the future, the things she was currently learning and even books she was reading.

Excerpts:

2003 "It's hard to write you and not get excited about someday meeting you face to face.  I know someday you'll read these letters and I just pray that God is preparing you just as He is preparing me. "

2004"....I just have to be careful I'm not getting too anxious for you, but remember to just pray for your safety and purity..."

2005. "In Proverbs 31:12 it says that the wife brings good, not harm all the days of her life.  This means that even before I meet you, I should be honoring you with my emotions and most definately my thougths.  I'm  also learing about the sacrifices and unconditional love of Jesus, and how someday I will be able to pour that love out into our marriage. I pray for you, love.  I  pray patience and strength for your fierce heart."

God already knew.

While Anna was dreaming and writing to her Dearest Husband, he (Cody Light),  was entering the Marine Corps in 2003.  In 2004, when she often mentioned praying for his safety, he was in Iraq.  He was there until May, 2005, while she was praying for his patience and strength.

He came back to Oklahoma City in December, 2008 and visited Lifechurch, Northwest Campus, where Anna is on staff.

2005 "How I think of the day we will meet.  Will I know it is you?  Have I already met you, even now as I write you this letter?

No. She didn't know.   In fact, she called him Caleb for several weeks!

Anna and Cody were married on August, 7, 2009.

Isaiah 64:4  For since the world began,
      no ear has heard,
   and no eye has seen a God like you,
      who works for those who wait for him!

Did you write letters to your husband-to-be?  Share your story.

Dear Future Husband (Part 2)

Letter from our youngest daughter, Katie….quite the prophetess!



Written by Katie Meadows Mansour, April 29, 2002.  13 years old

Hey future husband!



I’m writing you because, well, because I’m so excited about getting married and I can hardly wait to start a life and family of my own with you.  I know you must know that God has to be the cornerstone of our marriage, because if you didn’t I wouldn’t have allowed myself to marry you.  What I mean by that is God has to be in everything that we do—decisions, goals, most importantly our relationship.



Right now I am 13, almost 14.  My wishes/fantasies are to get married in about six years on July 12 (my Grandpa, Grandma and Mom and Dad’s weddings were on July 12).  That is two days before my 20^th bd.  I will almost be done with college, getting registered for nursing.  I really want to just be a mom, but until we are set financially, my career will be nursing……(she goes on to tell the number of children, boys and girls, complete with names and name meanings)



….I know my wishes and fantasies will change and I’m glad because I want you to have every part and every say that you desire.  I know God has set you apart for me and I can’t wait to meet you!



Your future wife,



Katie Sara Meadows



Eph. 5:22-24

Eph 5:33

------------------------------



Katie met Alexander when she was still young, 15, and actually did marry him on July 12, 2007, in the very same church as her parents' and grandparents' wedding, even though it was a Thursday evening wedding!  She was two days shy of turning 19.

This May she graduates from University of Central Oklahoma with her degree in nursing.

Finding this letter blessed me so much.  The thoughts and desires expressed on paper set a direction for Katie and she stayed with it. It’s hard for me to believe anything other than that the Hand of God was directing her hand, as well as her heart. Alexander’s desires match Katie’s desires, and God is the cornerstone of their marriage.

My hope and prayer for you is that you will be encouraged that God has a plan for you, and for your children. Keep pouring His truths into them. Someday, when you see them grow up and live it out…..well, that’s just an overwhelming blessing!!

Next, I’ll share some of Anna’s thoughts and dreams from her letters to her future husband.

~Robin

The Rest of the Story

Maybe you read this about our dining room furniture makeover.  No?  Go ahead.  I'll wait.

OK - now you know about the top being refinished, and the parts you can see being repainted.

What I didn't tell you is a little secret I discovered underneath the table top.

Being that this is written in cursive, I figure Katie must have been about 8 years old when she signed our table.  Certainly old enough to know better.

And here's what I find interesting about this recent discovery.  What once would have caused me to be upset, wonder where I had gone wrong in teaching her, or trying to figure out the best strategy for discipline now only brings a smile to my face.

Why?  Katie is grown now.  She is 21.

She is the wife of Alexander, working on their 3rd year of marriage.  She is working full time at McBride Clinic,  is paying her own way through nursing school and will graduate this May with her RN degree .  She is a loving sister, a fun Aunt Kate-Kate, and a wonderful daughter. She's hardworking, extremely talented and our go-to for medical questions.

So moms and dads.  When you discover those signatures and masterpieces in your closets, cabinets, window sills, etc., just know that some day it won't bother you so much. Your little artists will have grown into amazing adults!

Besides, I'm sure Katie knows by now not to write on the furniture. Wait... maybe I need to have Alexander check underneath their table!

Family Vision Statement-Q & A

How can you discover the vision for your family?

Think about these thoughts:



Your vision needs to be everlasting, and an on-going goal for generations to come.



What is your calling?



What is important to you?



What will you want to be remembered for?



What makes you come alive?



Next: write your thoughts down.  Share them with your mate.  Brainstorm and write different phrases.



Try to make it around 10-12 words.



Teach it to your family.  Place it on your wall. Refer to it often to cast vision to your family.







What if my husband or wife doesn’t see the need to have a vision statement, but I really desire it?



Pray!  Don’t nag, force-feed, continue making suggestions or get in a huff because they’re not on the same page as you.  Pray!!  Never discount the power of the Holy Spirit.  Live your life with your own vision statement in mind.  Be consistent to it.  Pray!



What makes you or your family come alive?





Tomorrow, we’ll share our family vision statement with you.

Dirk and Robin

Parenting Towards Partnership (Part 2)

Do you ever ask yourself what this parenting is all about? I mean really, who would ever purposely get themselves in a place where most of us parents find ourselves sometimes? Where is this parenting taking us? Where will it end up?

 

It's all about relationship. Parenting is developing your relationship with your child. There are many things that we can do. First, of course is love. Secondly, comes the support that they need to become a productive person of society. Giving our children the tools they need to become what they are called to in life should not be taken lightly. I don't think you do, or you wouldn't be reading this blog.

 

But at some point, our children are no longer children, and you'd better be ready. The changes they make can be rapid and extreme. The important thing is learning to allow them to grow and then growing right along with them, not allowing our perceptions of them to remain as if they are still little children.  If we recognize and accomplish this, it can bring great rewards.

 

One of the best rewards that I have been experiencing lately is partnering with my kids. It has been great and I am looking forward to many years of partnership with them. My older kids have their lives and families, jobs and hobbies.  They have value and now we do things as partners rather than "I'm the dad and I said so" because now, I listen too. And you know what? I'm learning a lot.

 

Just one example of partnering is working with my daughter's ministry reaching youth in our city. Another is learning about some new businesses and how to bring those about in our new family corporation. We are partners because we are growing. We have grown because we work hard on our relationship.

 

How about you? Are you ready to partner with your kids? Do you already? Let us know your ideas on developing your relationship with your kids.



 

Dirk

Parenting Towards Partnership (Part 1)

Parenting shifts into different seasons as the kids grow up. It’s amazing how things change, and in just a short time. You may remember the diapers or the getting-into-everything times, or how about driving to all the activities that you could get your child into? You may still be living those times. If you are, cherish those times and invest time into your kids. It will pay off when they get older.

 

Harry Chapin wrote a song called “Cats in the Cradle” that talks about a relationship between a dad and his son.  The song reveals the relationship from the cradle to being grown. There is one part in the last verse that hits hard on the way we raise our children. It goes:  And as he hung up the phone it occurred to me, He'd grown up just like me, my boy, was just like me.

 

That song was an indictment on a father that didn’t spend time with his boy while he was growing up. The choice is ours: to invest or not, into the most precious resource we are entrusted with. Do you want that child to grow up just like you?

 

What about when they become teenagers?  Do you want that time to pass fast because you don’t know how to relate?

 

I’m convinced that it is never too late to spend time with your kids no matter their age.  It’s all about relationship.

 

I’ll write next time about what I’m finding the rewards to be in parenting toward partnership.



 

Dirk

Dealing with Disappointment

Recently I attended a talent show audition where about 35 youth were performing their various skills in hopes of winning one of the 5 top places.  Only 5 people or groups would be chosen to go on to the next level.   All these kids poured their hearts into what they were doing and many were disappointed when they weren’t selected as one of the top 5. 

 

It got me to thinking.  I wondered how their parents helped them walk through the disappointment.  In fact, I actually did overhear one parent telling her child, “It was rigged.”  It made me wonder if that response would affect the way this child handled disappointments later in life.

 

So?  How do you help your children overcome disappointments? What would your words have been if your child had not been one of the top 5 in the talent show?

 How do you deal with disappointments in your own life?



 

 

Robin

The Principles of the Principal

The boys weren't getting along.  In fact, the worst atrocity that could ever happen in the history of all mankind had happened.  One of the boys sat in the other boy's usual school place!  You know....he made a power-play.  He pushed his brother's buttons.  He knew just what would make him frustrated.  And it worked.



Words and attitudes escalated to the point that it was just easier to bring Principal Meadows in to help work things out.  Besides, he was still home.

 

Principal Meadows sat down at the table with both boys, one, with a smirk on his face and the other, visibly frustrated.  This is what I overheard:

 "Right now you are in competition with one another.  But one of these days, I think there will come a time where you will fight for and take up for one another.  It's not there right now, because everything is "what can I get over you" ? That will change over time, because I hope you'll see that isn't worthwhile.  When you learn to prefer each other, that's what will make the difference.  When you know that you love each other enough to sacrifice for the other and learn that not everything is about you; that you're not centered on yourself.  Like Jesus was---He wanted what was best for everyone beside himself.  I hope you'll choose to prefer and uphold the honor of your brother."

Their response?  They listened.  It looked like gears were clicking.  Maybe it was just hunger...it was nearing lunch time.

 Whatever it was, there hasn't been any school-place stealing since that day.  Not a whole lot of extra-special-brother-love, either.

 But, they're learning.  They're growing.  We're not done yet.  I'm sure glad I'm not at it alone.

That Principal Meadows sure has good principles. And I think he's pretty darn cute, too!

 Robin