The Code of Conduct

Have you ever held a door open for a stranger in a public place who has said, "Chivalry is not dead!"  Or have you ever read about the chivalrous knights of the Middle Ages?  Have you ever wondered what makes a knight chivalrous, or what exactly the word even means?



Chivalry is derived from the French word cheval.  In the Middle Ages, chivalry was "the code of conduct for the nobility and the knights."  This code stresses the good qualities of a person:  strength, courage, loyalty, courtesy, spirited bold or a well-mannered person.



Not long ago chivalry was a concept largely ignored.  Men thought that a quality like courtesy simply wasn't "manly" enough.  Though, in the 21^st century, some people have realized that the world needs a code of conduct.  And people are realizing that anyone-men and women, teachers and coaches, students and soldiers, doctors and athletes-any one of us can be a knight in shining armor.  And every one of us should be.



So in today's world, you can see that chivalry is, in fact, not dead.  Some people are still courteous, spirited and bold.  Many people are still very well mannered.  So next time you're in public, hold a door open for someone, use the words please and thank you.  And more than that, help bring chivalry back into our modern, everyday life.



Do you think chivalry is dead?





Jacob

Feeling Like a Bad Mom

You know those days when everything you've worked so hard to teach your children just seems to fall apart?  All the things you've preached and lived and breathed into them.  And now it suddenly seems like they never heard a word you said.  Their choices or responses aren't matching up to the efforts you've poured into helping them understand.  The importance of things like responsibility, obedience, honor.



Well, it happened to me again recently.  And it didn't make me feel so happy.  In fact, I felt like a really bad mom....once again.



So, this time I took a moment to reflect on how I was going to handle it. I had to consciously choose to:

• Recognize that my children's choices weren't necessarily against me personally. 


• Try not to transfer my negative feelings onto everything else bothering me in my life and blow it out of proportion.


• Recognize the lies of the enemy desiring to bring discord and destruction into my heart and mind.


• Recognize that this is a time when I start comparing myself to others


• Take all thoughts captive to the Truth

Realizing the truth and not believing the lies didn't change my heart immediately.  I still had feelings of being a failure.  But they were short-lived and I was able to quickly move on with my day, choosing instead to believe that progress can indeed come, even with my failings.



A different perspective gave birth to better thoughts, a better mind-set.



Do you struggle with thinking you're a failure?  Do you have trouble separating the lies from the Truth?







Robin

The Best Gift - Your Words

The Best Gift---Your Words

It has no monetary value, but it will cost you everything.  It may cause you rejection, feelings of discomfort, or even embarrassment.  In fact, it may be the most challenging gift you’ve ever given.  And you may wonder why it’s such an important gift.

But it is….and it’s something that you’ll never regret giving.

Ready?

This year, tell your children that you love them and that you are proud of them.  And then keep telling them.

This is absolutely the best gift you can ever give your children!  And the older they are, and if you’ve never offered it, ….the more they need to hear it from your lips.

Have any of these excuses? :

“I said it all the time when they were young.”

“Well, they already know that!  After all, I show it to them every day by providing for them.”

“It’s too late now….too many years have passed to say it now.”

“They’re just words.”

“If I tell them I’m proud of them, they may quit being challenged to do better”.

Your children may know you love them and are proud of them, it’s never too late (until it is), and they may “just be words”.  But combined with your loving actions, these are the most powerful words you’ll ever say to your children. 

Take the challenge. Say the words. It will change your kids.  It will change YOU!

Is it easy or difficult for you to say those most important words? 

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We’ll revisit this topic at a later date and talk about why these words are so important and the effects their presence or absence may have in our own lives and the lives of our children.







Robin

What Do You Think?

Apart from regular school subjects, what things do you think are important to teach your children to prepare them for life?

Or, what things do you wish you had known more about when you became an adult?

Tell us.

Robin

Staying in Focus

In a devotional this week, I read this statement by Oswald Chambers:



"...sin is not wrong doing, it is wrong being, deliberate and emphatic independence of God."



Now, this may not be any new information for you, but it has been great help in explaining some things to my boys this week, and has brought some renewed clarity in my thinking.



It's not about what we do or don't do; it's about where we stand.



This distinction helps me to know that I don't teach my boys to focus on staying away from pornography, drugs, alcohol, swearing, deceit, sexual promiscuity, etc., although we do talk about those things.



Instead, it reminds me to focus their attention on the connection they have with God.  On the relationship that is severed by sin.  The choice of deliberate independence of God and the resulting consequences.



In the past, I think I directed my kid's focus too much on what not to do, rather than on having a relationship with a loving, living Christ.



I hope this truth will bring the same clarity to your own thoughts!



Make sense?



Do you read "My Utmost for His Highest"?





Robin

The Principles of the Principal

The boys weren't getting along.  In fact, the worst atrocity that could ever happen in the history of all mankind had happened.  One of the boys sat in the other boy's usual school place!  You know....he made a power-play.  He pushed his brother's buttons.  He knew just what would make him frustrated.  And it worked.



Words and attitudes escalated to the point that it was just easier to bring Principal Meadows in to help work things out.  Besides, he was still home.

 

Principal Meadows sat down at the table with both boys, one, with a smirk on his face and the other, visibly frustrated.  This is what I overheard:

 "Right now you are in competition with one another.  But one of these days, I think there will come a time where you will fight for and take up for one another.  It's not there right now, because everything is "what can I get over you" ? That will change over time, because I hope you'll see that isn't worthwhile.  When you learn to prefer each other, that's what will make the difference.  When you know that you love each other enough to sacrifice for the other and learn that not everything is about you; that you're not centered on yourself.  Like Jesus was---He wanted what was best for everyone beside himself.  I hope you'll choose to prefer and uphold the honor of your brother."

Their response?  They listened.  It looked like gears were clicking.  Maybe it was just hunger...it was nearing lunch time.

 Whatever it was, there hasn't been any school-place stealing since that day.  Not a whole lot of extra-special-brother-love, either.

 But, they're learning.  They're growing.  We're not done yet.  I'm sure glad I'm not at it alone.

That Principal Meadows sure has good principles. And I think he's pretty darn cute, too!

 Robin

Teens, Sex, and Dating

I’ve been doing a little reading about dating/not dating. Like I told you yesterday, it’s an area we’ll be discussing with our boys this year.

The other day I came across some statistics I wanted to share.

From the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy (2007 study)

Teens continue to say that parents most influence
their decisions about sex.

Most teens (64%) say they share their parents’
values about sex.

Most sexually experienced teens (60%)
wish they had waited longer to have
intercourse.

Fully 75% of teens do not think it is
embarrassing for teens to admit they are
virgins.

About half of teens (48%) say they have
never thought about what their life would
be like if they got someone or were pregnant as
a teen.

From the Centers for Disease Control

47% of all teens 9-12th grade have had sex, and 62% of all graduating seniors have had sex.

From Josh McDowell’s “Handbook on Counseling Youth”, a study in 1996 of 2400 teens from Utah State University and Brigham Young University:

91% of girls who begin dating at age 12 lose their virginity before graduation
56% at age 13
53% at age 14
40% at age 15
20% at age 16

How old were you when you began dating? Do/will your views on dating change on your watch?