Hard Questions for Me Today

Summer Re-run (orginally posted 11/12/07)

If you never again received a word of praise, affirmation or recognition, would you still do it for Me?

If it seems too hard, too much, too overwhelming, and too heavy, would you still do it for Me?

If you never get your apology, never get your answer; never know for sure, will you still do it for Me?

"Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the driver's seat; I am. Don't run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I'll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to saving yourself, your true self. What good would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you? What could you ever trade your soul for? " Mark 8:34-37 (The Message)

Life is School

(picture taken in our living room)

A Summer Re-Run (orginally published 6/5/07)

Recently I was sharing (whining) to one of my daughters about having to do something I didn’t really want to do. Something that will infringe on what I want to do with my time. Circumstances over which I will have no control.

My daughter, Erin, who is facing a huge change in her life with her husband heading to Iraq for a year reminded me, “Mom, I hear what you say all the time echo in my head many times a day: ‘Your life is not your own, you’ve been bought with a price.’”

Later that same day, I was having a heart-to-heart with another daughter, Anna who has recently moved to her own apartment after starting a new job. She is experiencing many changes and a few struggles in her young life. After sharing some of those struggles with me she said, “But mom, I remember you always saying, ‘Your life is not your own, you’ve been bought with a price.’” She went on, “I’m learning that life is not all about me.”

I thought, “OK, Lord….I hear You.”

Isn’t it funny how our own words, or more accurately, Paul’s words, come back to us?

My own daughters are now teaching me, reminding me that life is a continual learning process.

Some of this I thought I would have down by now, but I know I still have a long way to go. Thankfully, the One who purchased my life is also very patient to remind me that it’s really not all about me.

And that’s a good thing!

You are not your own; you were bought at a price. I Corinthians 6:19-20

Just Smile

A Summer Re-run (originally posted 6/13/07)

So, the Legos, Hot Wheels, dolls and doll clothes are scattered all over your house. You move the furniture, and there they are……You walk into the kitchen at night and nearly break your neck stepping on a Hot Wheels.

Maybe at your house it’s Dora stuff, Transformers and miscellaneous McDonald’s toys. And you wait for the day when those things no longer clutter your home, right?

WRONG! Guess what? I don’t think they EVER go away!

But, finding those surprises is more a delight to me now, because it means that my grandchildren have visited.

I’ve learned that things that used to bother me really aren’t all that important any more. I’m choosing bigger issues to deal with and not sweating the small ones as much. Learning to “lighten up”, as my husband used to encourage me to do.

And I know there may come a day when my house is too quiet, too clean and too empty. So, for now, when I find those small toys in unpredictable places, I remember the fun my children and grandchildren had playing with them……and I smile.

Now, finding my teen boys’ dirty socks in the living room is another story…..

Picture taken Mother's Day 2007

Lessons from a Green Bean

By now, most of you know I grow a vegetable garden every year, (with plenty of help from two daughters and 4 precious pea-pickers).

And in that garden I always grow a fence of green beans. Now, when green beans begin producing, they must be picked every day.

On this particular year, I remember picking beans, and filling my basket. Pick a bean, then another and another… and OH MY HEAVENS. That is not a bean! It’s the tail of a little green snake!

Not being a snake-lover, you could hear me squealing from several acres away, I’m sure. I know that little snake was as scared as I was, because he slithered away quickly, hiding himself in the leafy vines.

At this point, I had a choice. Either ask someone else to come pick beans for me, or be a little more careful when picking them myself. Deciding to be a big girl, I choose the latter, and now with gloved hand, began picking beans a little more slowly and carefully.

Now, God talks to me in my garden. After all, it was His original walking place, so I figure He likes mine pretty well too. So, we were talking. And He told me that satan is like that little green snake. He hides, he deceives, he’s sneaky. But, I didn’t need to be afraid of that little snake. I just needed to be aware of him, ….just like I need to be aware of satan.

That little snake lived all season in my green bean fence, reminding me daily to be cautious and on-guard, but not to be fearful, of him or of satan. I only squealed a few times. : )

Thanks God! It was a good lesson.

… Satan will not outsmart us. For we are familiar with his evil schemes. (II Cor. 2:11)

Leave it With Him

From Streams in the Desert

I need oil," said an ancient monk; so he planted an olive sapling.

"Lord," he prayed, "it needs rain that its tender roots may drink and swell. Send gentle showers." And the Lord sent gentle showers.

"Lord," prayed the monk, "my tree needs sun. Send sun, I pray Thee."

And the sun shone, gilding the dripping clouds.

"Now frost, my Lord, to brace its tissues," cried the monk.

And behold, the little tree stood sparkling with frost, but at evening it died.

Then the monk sought the cell of a brother monk, and told his strange experience.

"I, too, planted a little tree," he said, "and see! it thrives well. But I entrust my tree to its God. He who made it knows better what it needs than a man like me. I laid no condition. I fixed not ways or means. 'Lord, send what it needs,' I prayed, 'storm or sunshine, wind, rain, or frost. Thou hast made it and Thou dost know.'"

Which tree are you?

Lessons from Some Weeds

It’s spring! Time for me to head to the garden. It’s a passion of mine. I’m not great at it, but I do enjoy getting my hands in the dirt. And there are plenty of spiritual applications found in that garden of mine.

This year, on one of those early spring warmish days, I put on my gloves, went across the road (a short walk from home) ready to begin tilling, digging, spading, and making ready the soil for some early seed.

What I was met with was a big disappointment. The garden was covered in weeds. Dead weeds, but still weeds.

You see, last year, well… I just didn’t get back over to the garden during those hot, hot August/September days to remove the grass and weeds. And grass and weeds LOVE hot weather! I always meant to. It just didn’t happen.

It got me to thinking. Weeds are a lot like sin in our lives, particularly the sin of negligence.

Here are a few ways negligence has shown itself in my life:

That’s just the way I am.
Oh, it’s just a little thing, not that big of a deal.
I’ll work on that later.
I’ll get back to it soon.

And just as those weeds are strongholds in my garden, going to seed, creating more and more weeds this season, those sins of negligence take root in my heart. I get comfortable with them. I don’t notice them. I don’t deal with them.

Oh God. Reveal to us the sins of neglect that will consume us if we don’t wake up and allow you to reign fully in our hearts.

Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it. James 4:17 NLT

Abortion Admission

OK –now that I’ve got your attention, I didn’t really go through with an abortion. But, for a fleeting (ok, more like a LONG) thought, I actually considered that I needed to get rid of the “problem” I knew I would be facing with another pregnancy.

It was 1985. (I know…you were 6 or not even born.) We had just built our house in the country: 3 bedrooms, 3 desks in the schoolroom, 3 kids-2 girls and a boy. (Erin was 7, Andrew was 4 and Ali was 1.) We were complete. I was satisfied with life.

I even remember having a conversation with a friend in California telling her that for the first time in my life, I felt really settled, complete, fulfilled.

And then, my period didn’t begin (sorry guys…) For me, that meant only one thing. I knew I was pregnant! Oh my! That didn’t fit my plans. We didn’t have enough desks! We didn’t need more kids. I didn’t want to be pregnant again!

For that moment, I thought, “I’ve got to do something about this. I’ve got to get rid of this.” It was a thought that came, and I knew in an instant, if I took control of that situation, it would make everything right again. It would put my life back into place, instead of the rocking, jarring thoughts that were slamming me. I wasn’t even thinking that there was a life growing inside me.

And just as quickly, I repented those thoughts, and knew I would never follow through with killing my own child.

But, what that quick experience taught me is compassion for those that do choose to abort their babies. If a young, single, scared girl or woman doesn’t have an understanding, Truth and love represented in her world, I can see how a she might choose to take things into her own hands. Chart the course of her future.

That experience changed me. It not only taught me compassion, but it set the stage for agreeing that my life was much better controlled by the One who knows what is best for me.

The baby was Anna Joy. The first of four more blessings that God added to the three we already had. I would have never chosen that life for myself!

I sure am glad I let Him lead.

Lettuce Grow a Salad

Right now is a great time to sow some lettuce seed, water it, and watch it grow. This is a great kid project with many teaching possibilities (spiritual, nutritional, learning responsibility, etc).

Lettuce can be grown in a vegetable plot, a flower bed or even a large flower pot. Just make sure your area receives around 6 hours of sunlight each day.

I planted mine in our vegetable garden. I used three types of lettuce: a romaine mix, a butterhead mix, and some mesclun. The first two are leaf-type lettuces and mesclun is a Spring Mix of several types of greens.

Prepare the soil by tilling with a spade or hand shovel. Then rake it smooth. Sprinkle your seed on the soil, not to heavily.

Use your rake to lightly cover the seed with soil. A good general rule is to plant your seed twice the depth of the seed, so for lettuce, that’s not very deep!

Next, I like to pat the soil with my hand, just to ensure that the seed won’t blow away and is covered with fine soil.

Now, using a sprayer on your hose, lightly spray the newly planted area with a mist of water until the soil is well-watered, being careful not to dislodge the seed.

Lettuce seed will sprout in about a week, depending on the weather. The most important thing is to keep the soil moist, watering as much as twice or more a day, until germination. Soon, you will see baby lettuce plants! (My seed packet even says, “guaranteed to grow”. And it is! I'll show you on Friday.

Let the lettuce grow to about 4 inches before harvesting for your salad. Pick leaves from the outside of the plant and allow the center to continue growing. You should be able to enjoy your lettuce until about the end of June, when our Oklahoma weather is too hot, and the lettuce will get bitter tasting and go to seed.

There’s something very spiritual about digging in the dirt, watching seeds grow into plants and harvesting! You’ll be hearing plenty more from me about gardening and life applications.

And let me know if you try it. Take pictures! Send them to me and I’ll post them here.

PS – another easy thing to grow for your salad is radishes. They grow so quickly, although many children don’t care for the flavor.

Final Thoughts (for now) on Mary

I'm B-aaaack


Our Christmas was nice, as usual. We have a wonderful, loving family. We are very blessed! We did miss Jon, Erin’s husband who is in Iraq.

Dirk got me Photoshop Elements 6. Anyone have any tips to share?

Our three sons, and Dirk and I all served as greeters, cart drivers, and ushers for each one of the nine Lifechurch experiences this weekend! Whew! (but lots of fun). We got to see some people we haven’t seen in a long time, since they attend different services than we do. It was so nice to see them and hug them. It reminded me of what heaven may be like!

We are taking care of our granddaughters, Lily (3) and Sadie (1), while their parents are on a short get-away. Think I’ll be worn out by Saturday?

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Think about it. Mary was a home educator! I’m sure she was home educated herself. And guess what? It didn’t ruin her! She still carried out the calling on her life.

As one of the main influences in Jesus’ life, Mary fed her willing spirit, her ears to hear her Father, and many other qualities into her first son’s life.

And just think about how much she gained from having Jesus as a son! Don’t you know he taught her things she had never even thought of before He came into her life?

Just last week, one of my children suggested maybe I was being a little judgmental about something. She was right, and I apologized. I remember another occasion when Erin, at six-years-old, asked me why I was watching soap operas. “Mom, is that good?” Hmmm….No! I had gotten into a bad habit during college and was still, now as a mom, leaving the TV on during the day, badly influencing my 6 year old daughter. The TV went off for good, for soap operas.

How much are we allowing our children to teach us? You see, I think it’s a two-way street. I know I’ve learned many things from my children. I’ll share about more of those sometime.

Besides long-suffering ;-), What are your kids teaching you?

Additional Thoughts on Mary

Mary wasn’t the only influence on Jesus. He had an earthly father, Joseph. Mary and Joseph were a team. I believe they worked together to give Jesus everything he needed to be a well rounded individual, able to later influence many in His earthly life.

Sometimes, as moms, I think we may think our husbands are harsh with our young children. Maybe we think they are too firm.

But, I believe God wants our children to have the best of both his natures, his wholeness: mothering AND fathering. There is a complete difference, yet a completeness. And I think we need to learn to celebrate it.

I know I haven’t always thought Dirk handled things the right way….after all, he handled our children as a father, something I'll never fully understand.

Are you able to celebrate the way your husband fathers your children?

More Thoughts on Mary

Do you think Mary ever said unkind or harsh words to Jesus? Do you think she was perfect, like her son Jesus?

I don’t. There is nothing in scripture that gives us any reason to believe she was above sin. She was a mom, just like you and me.

Do you think she had hard days? Do you think she ever had to apologize for losing her patience or her temper?

I do. I think she had to do all the same things we do. She experienced the same frustrations, disappointments, and concerns.

And I think she also had daily, constant prayer and interaction with her heavenly Father (weird to think he was also right in front of her!).

The same strength, guidance, and grace she relied on is still available to us today! We only have to connect, to ask, to receive.

Are you connecting daily? It is your LIFE!


… and the Word was God John 1:1
For the LORD is your life…Deut. 30:20

Thoughts on Mary

I’ve been thinking about Mary, mother of Jesus this week.

Can you imagine the thoughts and feelings she must have experienced finding out that she was going to carry the long awaited Messiah? I’m sure she experienced fear and uncertainty along with morning sickness and all the accompanying child-bearing issues.

But that’s not what I’ve been thinking most about. I’ve been thinking about why she was chosen, why she was found worthy.

You see, we know she was very young, so she had not yet been tested in long-term relationships, or maybe even much temptation. In her short life, she probably hadn’t been through enough to show how she would handle adversity. She didn’t excel at the levels we may consider a “mature”, godly person to have. We sure wouldn’t have chosen her.

But God did. And I think he chose her especially for one reason.

She was willing. Willing to follow the calling on her life. Willing to obey. Willing to do whatever her Father asked of her. She was a servant. She knew the voice of her Master.

Are we willing? Do we recognize His voice enough to be able to listen? And are we even listening?

Oh, may our hearts be willing and may our spiritual ears be open to the gentle voice of our Master! That’s really all he asks of us.

Lessons From My Husband (5 of 5)

Live your life “in the open”

This is something I’ve heard Dirk say very often to our two teen sons. He has encouraged them to be open with their lives, to not hide anything, to live life “in the open”.

Wow! I wished I had learned this much earlier in my life. I don’t know why I thought I had to put up a good front, and make everyone think everything was “just perfect” with me. I didn’t even know how to be real. Now I am learning.

When we are willing to have no secrets and confess our sins to others, it will not only impact our own hearts and lives, it will impact others as well.

I don’t want to hide---I want to live freely!


Here’s a story of redemption that my friend, Cindy Beall is sharing on her blog. I hope it will encourage you to “live your life in the open”.

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Another Lesson From My Husband

"Bring in the Boundaries"

I remember a time, maybe even more than one, when Dirk would come in from a hard day at work and find chaos was reigning and we were ALL sitting in the floor crying---even me! It had been a hard day for mom and I wouldn’t be doing too well emotionally. Identify?

Read the rest here

Lessons From My Husband (4 of 5)

Consider the Source

This is a little bit of a touchy topic, because it does require a measure of judgment. But, it is something that has saved me many times from believing a lie.

Dirk has taught me to “consider the source”.

Have you ever shared your thoughts, ideas, and your heart with a person who just slams you? Maybe it’s a family member who just doesn’t “get” your passion for Christ. Or maybe someone is questioning your decision to home educate your children. It might be your well-intentioned mother-in-law who suggests your child’s cold is because you didn’t have him wear a hat last time it was chilly outside. (That happened to you too?)

The “come-backs” from some of these encounters often left me feeling very devastated, and quite angry.

As I would vent to Dirk, he suggested, “Consider the source”.

I began trying it out. When someone would challenge my thoughts or actions, I began considering their point of view. Were they even Christ followers? If not, they didn’t have the basis of belief that I did. Sometimes, the other person was just a rude, self-centered person. I had to consider the heart and motive of that person’s reply. Then, I would just have to let that person’s words go, not allowing them to take root in my heart. Sometimes, the person had no idea they were hurting me.

Experiences and years have taught me that the real source behind my perception of another person’s response was satan himself. He can even take a perfectly innocent statement and twist it so that we become offended. He is the one wanting me to believe the lies, wanting me to be devastated, wanting me to see myself as a failure.

Today, I can say with confidence, this is not an area I struggle with much. If you struggle in this area, I hope you’ll learn to “consider the source”.

Proverbs 26:2 Like a fluttering sparrow or a darting swallow, an undeserved curse will not land on its intended victim.

Lessons From My Husband (3 of 5)

We finally have our internet back up and running again. Thanks for your patience!!


Lighten Up

I distinctly remember Dirk talking to me one day (when we were young and had a house full of kiddos) and gently saying, “Robin, you’re about to kill us all here. You’re going to have to lighten up.”

As a Godly, sweet, respectful wife, (yeah, right…) my response was, “What?? What are you talking about? I don’t even know what that means!”

He kindly said, “Well, you need to figure it out”.

Humph! I needed to change?? What about everyone else? If they would just do things my way, everything would go smoothly around here. I’m not the one with the problem!

I wrestled for several months with this issue---lighten up. Just what did that mean?

As I searched for an answer, I began to see that my standards and requirements for “proper” behavior, cleanliness, and attitudes had become “my standards”. They sure weren’t God’s standards.

He has grace. I didn’t. His requirements are tempered with love. My requirements weren’t. My expectations were high and lofty. He meets us where we are.

As I began to offer myself some grace, I also began to give it away to my family. I relaxed. I “lightened up”.

I still have quite a driven and resolute personality, but I know I’ve learned to be more flexible over the years. I still want to get better. I desire God’s grace.

Romans 5:21 So just as sin ruled over all people and brought them to death, now God’s wonderful grace rules instead, giving us right standing with God and resulting in eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Lessons From My Husband (2 of 5)

Getting on their level

Your 4 year old is being extra cranky. You’ve had your fill. He challenges your correction one more time, arguing with you and you’re losing your patience. You begin to argue with him, your voice changing to a high-pitched-not-quite-scream.

Guess what? You have sunk to the level of your 4-year-old.

I used to do this quite often, but I’ve gotten better, learning to recognize and rise above the situation.



Now, I only sink to the level of a 13 year old. = )

Here are some things Dirk helped me to remember:

1. I am the mom. My child is a child (even if they are 17)
2. It is my responsibility to train and teach them
3. Learn to quickly recognize the signs of going down this path
4. Respond rather than react—stay calm
5. Try answering, “There will be no more discussion about this”.
6. Be willing to spend the necessary time teaching a correct response to your child
7. Follow-through with consequences

Soon, you should begin to see positive changes in your child----AND in you!

Lessons From My Husband (1 of 5)

I have known Dirk Meadows since I was 15 years old, and have been married to him for 33 years. He is not only the father of our seven children, and Grandpa to our 6 grandchildren, he is my best friend!

He is the greatest husband on earth! I know many of you will disagree with me, but I can say this: He’s the greatest husband for me! He’s not perfect, but he’s perfect for me.

This week I will share with you some of the wisdom this man has passed on to me. As a pro-active father, he has objectively offered insight when I’ve been drowning in a sea of “I don’t know what to do”. Some of these things I’ve learned really well. Some of them, I’m still working on. They are all things that have radically changed my previous way of thinking. I hope you’ll be challenged and changed as well.


*Getting on their level
*Lighten up
*Consider the source
*Tighten the boundaries

The Student Becomes the Teacher

This week I e-mailed a blog I was working on to my daughter. What I was really looking for was confirmation I was making sense, heading in the right direction. What I received back were some red marks, noting some grammatical errors and a few suggestions to make my writing more complete and concise.

I tell you this, not so you can feel sorry for me, or think that she was being rude. Or even to try to figure out which article received help.

I tell you this to encourage you.

This same child I worked with on spelling, grammar, writing, life skills, emotional and spiritual direction, and every other attribute a mother tries to convey to her daughter has now become my teacher! She has surpassed my skills as a writing teacher, praise God! Her gift of writing has not been hindered by my lack, ineptness or insecurities, for she has a Teacher who has no lack.

I pray she surpasses me in every area of her life!

Lessons from.....

A Compost Pile

I keep a compost pile. It’s where my fruit and vegetable scraps go, along with grass clippings and many oak leaves. It sits on the north end of our house and heats up to a great soil. And each spring I ask my boys to take several loads of rich, loamy compost to our vegetable garden.

This year, we had a vine begin growing from an almost finished compost heap. It was lush, with dark green leaves. Curious person that I am, I allowed it to grow. And grow. And grow. It took over most of the yard at the end of the house. And it began producing many yellow flowers, which turned into beautiful butternut squash. Thirteen of them!

This was the best growing vegetable we had all year. And I didn’t have to do anything to it but keep it supplied with water. It never had any insect problems; I never had to feed it. It just grew.

Isn’t that how it is with our lives? Out of the garbage, God can make something beautiful. And fruitful. All we need to do is supply the water of the Word, and leave the rest up to him.

I guess we just need to be willing to let go of the garbage.

I'm siding with satan on this one....

I’m a nothing. A big, fat zero. A nobody, zilch, nada, nil. Aren’t those the lies we hear whispered in our ears on a daily basis? Lies satan wants us to live and believe? Lies that will keep us beaten down and discouraged?

Well, guess what? This time I’m siding with satan! Yep, I’ve crossed the line and I’m agreeing with him.

But, I know a truth satan doesn’t get. You see, I've decided it's good to be a zero. A zero, in mathematics, is a placeholder. It has no value. It only represents a place. It is a position holder. Alone, zero actually is nothing. But with even the lowest number, number one, standing in front of it, it suddenly has value!

So, satan, while I’ll agree that I’m nothing, with The One standing before me, and with my willingness to be a placeholder in His Kingdom, well, I’ve got a greater value than you’ll ever know!