Think About It!

Consider the awesome magnitude of this thought. Before time ever began, God chose you for your child and your child for you, complete with his specific birth order, and the specific personality traits geared to train you and him into righteousness! He knew that there would be the greatest opportunity for your child’s heart to be completely turned toward Him by placing him under your care---at just this time in history! Wow! What a concept. It’s monumental. It’s incomprehensible!

Get this into your spirit and the next time life is overwhelming you, or your child is driving you absolutely crazy, consider the ‘bigger’ picture.

It's Not All About Academics

Last week I experienced again what it was like trying to teach older children while caring for young ones at the same time. My grandsons, Kaden, 4 and Will, 2 aren’t ready to sit at the table quietly while we work! So, we tried several things to occupy them while I worked with my boys on their lessons.

· We had special “school time only” toys. A favorite was a box of wooden clothes pins that my grandsons like to clip together to make outlines of roads for their cars.
· We had to work for shorter periods of time, speak a little more loudly, and concentrate harder.
· We had to accept the fact that relationships are more important than anything (even academics) and we just didn’t get everything done that we might have otherwise.

There were a few times I remember Kaden standing on the same chair seat right behind Kody while he was reading. Will was sitting on top of the table while we finished up some science.

It wasn’t a perfect scenario for learning, but we still got most of our work done. And we traded what didn’t get accomplished for lots and lots of hugs!

The take away? I think my boys, 13 and almost 15 learned more by caring for their nephews this week than anything they could have learned from reading a book.

How do you occupy your younger children while teaching your older ones?

Time Out!

Sometimes we all just need a “time out”. Things escalate to a point that is so overwhelming that we just need to stop what we’re doing and regroup. That’s when I usually say, “OK, everyone outside!” Even when it’s cold! Maybe the “time out” is for only a few minutes. Other times we need 30 minutes or more!

If we have to stay in because of weather, “time out” is a time to turn off all noise. No music playing softly in the background, no music practice. Think, QUIET! Even if it only lasts 10 minutes, it’s worth it. It’s a refocusing time. A time for me to gather my thoughts, to send up a quick plea for sanity! And it usually works. (If you don’t have older children to watch the younger ones outdoors, go outside with them. It will refresh you all).

The kids come back in a bit refreshed, ready to get busy. They know Mom means business! Time to get back to work!

What do you do to refocus when things get out of control?

Tighten the Boundaries

I remember a time, maybe even more than one, when Dirk would come in from a hard day at work and find chaos was reigning and we were ALL sitting in the floor crying---even me! It had been a hard day for mom and I wouldn’t be doing too well emotionally. Identify?

Dirk would say, “Robin, you need to pull in the boundaries. You’re letting them get away with too much.” And he would be right. I was being lax in my role as a parent because 1) it was too hard and took too much time 2) I got distracted doing any number of necessary “other” things 3) I didn’t know WHAT to do. You get the idea and the list could go on and on.

But, the point is, I was the responsible one, the adult, the mom. The one in charge of setting the atmosphere for our day.

I began to learn that when things would get overwhelming, I needed to assess the situation and see if I could tighten the boundaries a bit. To capture the runaway noise, disobedience and attitudes before they got out of control. At first, it took longer to get everyone back to understanding what was and was not acceptable behavior, but soon, it took only minor adjustments to return us to a tolerable level of stability. And then there were still those days where Dirk would come in from a hard day at work and find chaos was reigning……

Would “tightening the boundaries” help your day?

Adjustments

So, I’m just now getting around to posting again because it’s been a little busy around here.

Last week our two grandsons, Kaden, 4 and Will, 2 stayed with us while their mother, Erin was visiting her husband and their father, Jon before he leaves for Iraq on September 24.

There wasn’t much time for anything else besides caring for them! And they’re really easy children to care for.

But it did remind me of some things I had forgotten from my children’s younger days when I really was “overwhelmed by my blessings”. And I had to make some adjustments to my usual routine:

· often the “boundaries” had to be pulled in tighter
· we had to have “time out” for all of us
· teaching time had to be for shorter periods
· we ALL had to work harder and longer

I’ll expand on these thoughts in following blogs.

What adjustments might make your days easier?

“There is no higher calling in life than the task of bearing and raising the children whom God has trusted to our care.” ~ Dr. James Dobson

Lasting Effects #3

The “H” Word

A big topic in our home for many years is something very important to my husband……heritage. It’s a word that has great meaning to our family, because my husband is a curse breaker. For several generations, the fathers in his family were non-participants. And he decided to change that. So, the concepts of being a father who is involved in every area of his family’s life and the importance of leaving the next generation with a godly heritage were spoken of often. So often, in fact, that when the subject was brought up again and again, our children began saying in a teasing way, “Dad…..not the “H” word!”

Today, a sign hangs in my husband’s office. It’s a handmade wallhanging made by my oldest daughter. It says, “Heritage--- practices that are handed down from the past from heir to heir.” I know my children will never forget the “H” word and the importance of leaving behind that godly heritage.

Lasting Effects #2

What’s in a Name?

We are studying the scientific classification system right now. Last week I read something in our text that I’d never really considered before, but it makes a lot of sense.

It stated, “Whoever names someone has the authority or dominion over the one that is named. Adam named the animals and Eve; God named or changed the names of several people. Jesus gave new names to some of His disciples.”

On any given day, I feel more like my children have dominion over me rather than my husband and I having dominion or authority over them! But there is still power in the process of naming our children.

At the time we began having children, knowing name meanings was a rather new idea. And we took it seriously. It is something that we have found to have a lasting effect on our children. For instance, our first daughter is named Erin. Erin means peace. Now, Erin, being a first born daughter is not naturally given to peace. But we have found, over the years, that she has worked hard to live up to the meaning of her name. One time, she was visiting the bedside of the mother of one of her best friends whose health was failing. She told her that her name meant “peace” and that she had come to bring her peace.

Sometimes, we had to be a little more creative in deciding the meaning for a name. Kody means cushion. So we decided “comfort” was a good choice for his name meaning. And Jacob actually means “surplanter”, so we chose “overcomer” for his name. We have a "pure princess" , a "gracious joy", a "strong and manly" and a "truthful oath of God".

We have experienced many instances when knowing the meanings of our children's names was a helpful tool in encouraging them to live up to that particular character quality. Do your children know the meaning of their name?