Whether or not you educate your children at home, you will encounter days when your children just have bad attitudes (other days it may be you!)
Following is an e-mail question and answer session, with the names removed to protect the not-so-innocent.
I don't pretend to have a lot of answers....just many mistakes and lots of experience!
And I was quite honored that she would ask for my advice!
From my friend:
Oh, Robin, help me. What did you do when your kids had a nasty attitude? I've only got one (with the bad attitude), but it is ruining everyone's day. Right now he is upstairs doing some boring work instead of the more interesting stuff that was on tap for him today. Disrespectful attitude, uncooperative, and just out to pick a fight about anything, it seems. No reasons that I can figure out. He's my high maintenance one, but lately it's been worse. I either need some new ideas or a big bottle of wine. Since I'm teaching 3 others, probably some new ideas is a better choice. But if you don't hurry and respond, I'm goin' for the wine.
OK - get your wine :)
Yeah, there's usually at least one. (on any given day)
And, what did I do when my kids had a bad attitude? How about STILL have! LOL I have one that daily gives me a run for my money.....or my sanity.
I've really come to realize that a lot of that bad attitude and strong personality is the flip-side of their leadership giftings. Does that make any sense?
It will take CONSTANT training into righteousness, LOADS of prayer, a few tears, and MEGA-LOADS of love.
Here's where I can only encourage......You and your husband know him better than anyone else. Pray for a breakthrough....Pray for an answer...Encourage his heart to make a right choice. And make the consequences of his wrong choices hurt bad enough that he'll want to choose rightly.
I feel for you.....I really do understand.
Here's where the good part comes in. It's when that same kid will call you on the phone during his work break some day.....just to talk! Happened to me just this morning from my 27 yo son. What a blessing!!
Hang on......it WILL come!
You just made me cry.
He is an amazing and sweet kid with more strengths than any kid I've seen. And no one has EVER seen this side of him outside of this house. My friends don't even believe that he causes me trouble because he is just such a joy around others. My fear is that I am going to break his spirit so much that he won't want to call me to chat when he's 27. It just feels like we are butting heads all the time lately.
This is hard! I didn't know being a mom was going to be so hard! Sometimes I wish I was just one of those parents who didn't give a rip, ya know? Not really, what a nightmare, but you know what I'm talking about.
Thanks for the encouragement. It really helped.
I'm glad it helped a bit. Here's the hard part......don't take his actions personally. I know you're the only one there....but he really doesn't mean it against you. He just means it against any form of authority! haha He will always challenge the status-quo. He thinks he knows what is best. It's the natural way of a leader.
You WILL NOT break his spirit....Keep being firm. Continue to help him see that you are in charge...(I always tell my kids "I was born first....sorry, that's just the way God planned it, for some reason") :) Appeal to the Jesus in him.
Isn't it amazing how much "learnin'" we get in the training of our own children?
Do you ever have days like this one?
What other suggestions would you offer my friend?