Thursday, October 02, 2008

Get In the Big Fat Middle

This isn't a blog about fitness or exercise but it's about exercising the need to become involved with your kids when they begin to see there's more out there than the immediate family.


Recently, I was asked, "What should I do?  My 10 year old daughter is becoming extremely interested in boys".


Let her know that you don't want her to be focused on things she's not ready for. Encourage her to be patient and enjoy the "now" and not get ahead of herself.   (Those are emotional feelings and while kids that age and older like the feeling, they don't understand the responsibility that goes along with having a boyfriend.) 


And then fill the void she's feeling in her life.


I didn't do as good with my first two daughters.  And, I learned to approach things differently with my next two girls. I learned from my own mistakes.


I learned to be more involved.    


A Few Suggestions:


Text them

e-mail them

call them

take them to lunch

go lay on their bed and be a nuisance

play innocent tricks on them

play games with them

watch movies with them

volunteer at their activities

It's never too late to become involved.  We tend to think that by the time they're heading into their teens, it's "coasting and cruising" time.  But, that's really when our kids needs us dads (and moms) the most. 

It will pay great dividends. 


Are you up for it?







Theresa said...

I'm up for it but I really kind of liked the idea of coasting and cruising. HMMM!! I guess I will have to just continue annoying them. At least now I can say "Dirk told me too." when they get irritated.

Love it I have an excuse now!!! Thanks!!

erin said...

He texts me now though! I like that oh and hugs too (did I just say that???) ;-)

deleise said...

Those are great tips, Dirk!

donna said...

Great ideas. "go lay on their bed and be a nuisance" I think that one is my favorite. I can definitely be a nuisance. :)

Abbi said...

Good stuff!! You are such a great dad. You've really worked hard to create an incredible, loving family and it shows!!

I would also add: Tell your kids "I love you" and "You're so beautiful/handsome" and "I'm proud of you" OFTEN. No matter our age, we never forget how powerful our Daddy's words of affirmation are...and how devastating it can be to NOT hear those words.