Thursday, December 13, 2007

Lessons From My Husband (3 of 5)


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Lighten Up

I distinctly remember Dirk talking to me one day (when we were young and had a house full of kiddos) and gently saying, “Robin, you’re about to kill us all here. You’re going to have to lighten up.”

As a Godly, sweet, respectful wife, (yeah, right…) my response was, “What?? What are you talking about? I don’t even know what that means!”

He kindly said, “Well, you need to figure it out”.

Humph! I needed to change?? What about everyone else? If they would just do things my way, everything would go smoothly around here. I’m not the one with the problem!

I wrestled for several months with this issue---lighten up. Just what did that mean?

As I searched for an answer, I began to see that my standards and requirements for “proper” behavior, cleanliness, and attitudes had become “my standards”. They sure weren’t God’s standards.

He has grace. I didn’t. His requirements are tempered with love. My requirements weren’t. My expectations were high and lofty. He meets us where we are.

As I began to offer myself some grace, I also began to give it away to my family. I relaxed. I “lightened up”.

I still have quite a driven and resolute personality, but I know I’ve learned to be more flexible over the years. I still want to get better. I desire God’s grace.

Romans 5:21 So just as sin ruled over all people and brought them to death, now God’s wonderful grace rules instead, giving us right standing with God and resulting in eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

12 comments:

Christie said...

Oh yes. This is definetly something I struggle with...I have given up much of the outward pressure, meaning I don't force my standards on my family as much as I used to. However, I still feel as though I've 'failed' when I am not meeting those self-imposed expectations. UGH! Is He EVER done with us???!!!

Cindy Beall said...

Right here, sister. My Noah is precious and flighty and smart and witty, but NOT organized. I want him to be like me. He's not. Thanks for this reminder to let him be himself. Thanks for ALL of your reminders.

Robin Meadows said...

Christie, No, He is never done with us! Thank God, right?

Cindy, ever the encourager--thanks so much. I still struggle with this...why do I think MY ways are best?

Anonymous said...

Needing to "lighten up" has been something I've always struggled with because my expectations were always so high for everyone. However, over the past year I've had the opportunity to learn to "lighten up" and wow, I feel so much better....wish I would have learned that a long time ago.

Hope said...

My mother passed her standards on to me. She used to vacuum the carpet from the corner to the outside perimeter and then wait, ready to pounce on the first person to make a 'footprint' in her masterpiece. The first time I shocked my husband by telling him not to walk on the carpet after I had vacuumed, he just looked at me as if I was crazy. I was. I gave it up. Today, I don't have a husband, just a dog who sheds all over the carpet. Whatever. :)

shanna said...

Thank you so much for this!!!!

erin said...

I guess my biggest struggle in this is I hate lazy people. I've seen people use this as an excuse to not keep a clean house, excercise, etc. because they "don't want to waste time doing this and miss out on spending time with their kids" yet they seem to know every program on tv at every hour of the day & they are on the internet constantly. Ok, enough of my rant, but I don't want to lighten up on being the keeper of my home just to do lazy stuff, & I want to encourage others to not do the same. Yes, I need to lighten up even here :) . Thanks for the reminder & I will work on it.

Robin Meadows said...

Erin - you sound like me....where did you get that? = )

HomeSchool Mommy said...

I love looking at our expectations through His example. It sure changes things a little.

www.BigIsTheNewSmall.com said...

Yes Maam'

Rachel said...

I appreciate your humbleness! Tony often reminds me to "chill out", or lighten up. I needed to hear it from someone else so, Thanks Robin!

Abbi said...

"I needed to change?? What about everyone else? If they would just do things my way, everything would go smoothly around here."

Oh, Gosh! I think I've actually THOUGHT this before!! Eeks! :0