Sunday, December 16, 2007

Lessons From My Husband (4 of 5)

Consider the Source

This is a little bit of a touchy topic, because it does require a measure of judgment. But, it is something that has saved me many times from believing a lie.

Dirk has taught me to “consider the source”.

Have you ever shared your thoughts, ideas, and your heart with a person who just slams you? Maybe it’s a family member who just doesn’t “get” your passion for Christ. Or maybe someone is questioning your decision to home educate your children. It might be your well-intentioned mother-in-law who suggests your child’s cold is because you didn’t have him wear a hat last time it was chilly outside. (That happened to you too?)

The “come-backs” from some of these encounters often left me feeling very devastated, and quite angry.

As I would vent to Dirk, he suggested, “Consider the source”.

I began trying it out. When someone would challenge my thoughts or actions, I began considering their point of view. Were they even Christ followers? If not, they didn’t have the basis of belief that I did. Sometimes, the other person was just a rude, self-centered person. I had to consider the heart and motive of that person’s reply. Then, I would just have to let that person’s words go, not allowing them to take root in my heart. Sometimes, the person had no idea they were hurting me.

Experiences and years have taught me that the real source behind my perception of another person’s response was satan himself. He can even take a perfectly innocent statement and twist it so that we become offended. He is the one wanting me to believe the lies, wanting me to be devastated, wanting me to see myself as a failure.

Today, I can say with confidence, this is not an area I struggle with much. If you struggle in this area, I hope you’ll learn to “consider the source”.

Proverbs 26:2 Like a fluttering sparrow or a darting swallow, an undeserved curse will not land on its intended victim.


Cindy Beall said...

Good words, Robin (&Dirk). With a world that is full of criticism, this will help remind me that I really can't please everyone and that I shouldn't try.

IDnJC said...

I return to the "list" - my ID in Jesus Christ...whether they say good or bad things, I know that the truth is in WHO I am in Him. I am humbled by who God says I am because I am so undeserving.

Thanks for talking about this - we all need to speak and walk in LOVE more - to be in unity (on the same team).

Abbi said...

I have to say that this is THE best advice you've ever passed on to me. You spoke this into my life during a very difficult time with a friend. It really help put things in perspective. Great advice!

In fact, I just used the phrase when talking with my 14-yo sister yesterday (she's all worried about what the 'popular' kids at school think/do/say). I said "consider the source" and she was kinda quiet and then just said "Hmm. Okay."

Robin Meadows said...

Thanks're very encouraging!

Abbi---glad it helped. Sure has helped me over the years!

Christi said...

Thanks Robin! I think many people speak out of hurt or insecurity and then leave the one they are speaking to feeling hurt and insecure! It's good to take a step back and make sure that we are not internalizing. I am loving this series and all your wisdom:)

HomeSchool Mommy said...

Great advice!

erin said...

I think it's very important to have a very small handful of people that you respect speak into your life, but why is it that everyone that you remotely know tries to give you criticism? Unfortunately my dealings with this comes not from unbelievers, but Christians who are being very judgemental. I still struggle with this, but this phrase always echos when I feel like getting down about it. Thanks for the reminder.

Katie said...

Someone said those exact words to me at the hospital the other day. A certain person that causes a lot of problems gave me instructions and then changed them when I was in the middle of completing them. A floor nurse that I didn't even know told me to consider the source. It reminded me of dad ;)